Given all the tech I’ve played with over the years, I’d be
comfortable calling myself a Windows/Android guy with some earthy tones of
Linux and the occasional smooth draws of Mac. I like to keep up to date
and current on what’s going on in commercial tech platforms for two (and a
half) reasons. The first is personal – i’m a tech geek, and being more informed
and knowing different platforms makes my purchasing decisions more well
informed and in line with what I need. The second is professional – my career
is primarily one of being the IT and technology alpha nerd, and I’d call
geeking out part of my job description. That last “and a half?” The more
platforms, operating systems and “sides” I know, the more credibility I have
talking tech, and the less I have to deal with folks associating my opinions
with being a pure fanboy of any given platform.
Because fanboyism and fangirlism irk me. Ohhh kids it
irks me something improper. I like what I like because I’ve tested
a lot of things, and through that testing formulated my own opinion based on a
wide array of experiences. I like PCs running Windows 7. I prefer
Android-powered devices. It’s just how I roll. That doesn’t mean I
hate all things Apple – on the contrary I feel the vast majority of their
products are really a solid set of devices. And they back that up with
sales, as well as a fiercely loyal fan base that in my opinion has supported
the "Cult of Mac" moniker that it has come to be known as over the
last decade, rivaling the following of some organized religions. But when
the iPhone was still pretty much on its own in the touchscreen smartphone game,
it was all about “cool.” With the rise of Android, the sentiment of
“cool” was somehow converted into one of elitism.
You see kids, the iPhone isn’t iAlone anymore (see what I
did there?). It has competition now. What the rise of Android has
done is one very major thing sociologically, namely the creation of two
completely polarized groups of users: the "I won't touch anything
non-Apple" camp and the "Apple is for the computer illiterate, sheep
and hipsters locked in groupthink" faction. Adding competition
naturally drove the poles of these groups to consider each other the enemy,
instead of just two kinds of tech that accomplish similar goals. Hell
I’ve never seen anything this heated in consumer tech before, including Intel
vs. AMD. That fierce brand loyalty Apple has built does come off as
elitist fanaticism sometimes, but at the same time Android side is no less
guilty of elitism.
Don’t get me wrong. Like I said, I’m not a fanboy, and
acknowledge the guilt of both “sides” when it comes to this sort of
fanaticism. My problem is with users. Multiple people I'm friends
with and work with run all Mac at their homes, and brag about how their new iPhones are "10x times
better" than Android devices – in every iteration of course – 3,
3gs, 4 4s, because they've bought them all. The problem is, they've never
touched, much less used an Android device. So how could they
possibly know? "But why is it better?" I ask. No joke,
most answers dance around "because Apple/Steve Jobs would never make a bad
product."
Ok, that may support why it's a good product, but not why
it's "100 times better." How was that purchase fueled by anything
other than blind brand loyalty? I know people on the other end of the
spectrum too, who have purchased top-of-the-line Android smartphones and touted
their superiority over iAnything while at the same time having never even held
any sort of iPhone in their hands. I have no respect for these kinds of
opinions on either side, because they're not based in any kind of logic or
fact. And while I see this on both platforms, I do get it more from Apple
users than Android users. There is still the minority of users that have
actually played with both and have a logical preference one way or the other.
THAT I can get on board with. I've used both and I prefer Android.
Other colleagues have used both and prefer Apple. Some are warming
up to WIndows phones. Fair enough. I can't argue that because
they’ve done the research to actually know.
With this so called battle raging on for years, why do I
decide to bring this up now? One word, kids: Instagram.
That’s right, the photo app loved and adored by scores of iPhone users is no
longer Apple exclusive, and as of yesterday was free to download for Android
users. Now I never truly realized the wonder of this product – in my eyes
it was a photo editing app that allowed a user to put a limited number of
effects on a picture, providing one-click sharing to social media. And
after I downloaded it myself, my opinion didn’t really change. It’s still
nothing more than a handful of post-processing options that allows me to share
to social media from within the app. As such my personal reaction, and
the reaction of most Android users I know, wasn’t too much more than a
collective “Meh” for the day. I just don’t feel the need to make my
pictures look like they came from 1977, like one of the named filters the
app can do. And I’m perfectly capable of instantly sharing pictures from
my phone to Twitter, Facebook and Google+ with the touch of a button. So
even having Instagram now, the chances of me regularly using it are fairly
slim.
Now for the Apple side. iPhone Instagram fans flooded
Twitter upon release of Instagram for Android to not only express their
surprise, but their disdain and outright
disgust at the mere
thought of
sharing their precious app with filthy Android users. Go ahead and look
up the
#instagram hashtag.
While some Android users are displaying their pleasure and joy at having this
app, and the rest of us really don’t care, tweets from iPhoners are
overwhelmingly negative. Check the compilations of hate tweets put
together by
Android Community and
BuzzFeed. Responses ranged from do not follow
requests to Android users to feelings of “eww” and “gross” and “fail” to
suggestions to perform lewd acts upon and/or kill ourselves.
Reading these and actually going through the hashtag search actually made
me angry. Not angry because I’m an Android user, but at the pure venom
that poured forth from the iPhone community. Apparently android users are
“ghetto” and my access to Instagram now makes it “the projects.” Really? We pay
$300-$400 for our devices with 2 year contracts, so I hardly see how we’re the
poorhouse alternative to the Apple country club. After the anger came jealousy
– because this is clearly the most important thing these people have to address
all day. Following the jealousy however, was a complete 180 into intense
laughter. Why? Because all I had to do to ruin the lives of a
million elitist jerks was download a free app to my Droid Razr Maxx
that I'll probably never use. So on some level, thanks guys, you made me
feel all iPowerful today, and sad for you that this is really all it takes for
your world to crumble. I understand it's not ALL iPhone users, but man
does that community come off like a bunch of whiny children.
But still, why the hate people? It's not that earth
shattering of an app. And I really hate to break it to you folks, but
Android didn’t crash your party, we were invited. Instead of being happy
that the number of users and photos being available now increasing my a few
million and the ability to follow and be followed by Android using friends,
hell even instead of being indifferent, iPhone users are clearly
filling the stereotypical role of the hipster, complaining that their exclusive
underground club’s gone mainstream. It's like the sound of a million
fixed gear bicycles grinding to a halt.
Deal with it. This has, if any at all, a marginal
effect on your lives. And technology is for everyone. My apologies
on behalf of the entirety of the Android community that you’re no longer the
only ones that can add simple-minded single-touch “retro” post-processing to
camera phone pictures in an exclusive community. On behalf of the OG’s of
nerd culture on the other hand, I have demands, not apologies. Give us
back cloud computing that made your iCloud possible. Touchscreen tech in
general. Video games. Advanced web tools. The stuff my guys
had to manually code that you do with a finger tap. Alllll the stuff we
nerds had exclusively before they went mainstream to the masses only so you
could complain about trivial garbage now.
The bottom line is that everyone wants to be one of the cool
kids. Everyone wants to belong to some exclusive club that they can lord
over others, as trivial as it may be, when the real truth is that Android
devices and iProducts do the SAME. DAMN. STUFF. When someone
says "I love Apple and Android is for the dirty" or "Android is
awesome, Apple is the evil empire," 95% of the time what they're REALLY
saying is "I love mobile technology, and haven't the first damn clue what
the real differences between the tech and platforms are."
Because to the 5% of those of us that know - those of us who
actually care to know about and understand this tech that rules our very lives
instead of form over function, it’s mathematically impossible for us to care
less.